I Am. abandoned

My life fell apart and I didn't want God. For young adults, teens or really anyone that has felt like this or is dealing with someone who is bitter not only at the world but especially at God, who is in danger of losing their faith and walking away, this is for you. I had cancer, seizures and a phobia. I was told that I had a mental illness that was all in my head or an incurable physical malady. I was left in a world where friends and family didn't understand me and where I could hardly accept myself. Hence running from God. Why would I want Him when He obviously didn't want to take care of me like I wanted God to? My Pentecostal upbringing left me a lost little Evangelical. I was told that God loved me which must me that God wanted what I wanted, nowhere in my teenage mind did I imagine that I should want what God wanted, whatever God's plan might be. My spiritual life was horrid and near non-existant. I distanced myself from God because I felt hurt and destroyed by Him- if you're not near someone, they can't hurt you... or, at least He didn't deserve my friendship after doing what I was sure God did. How could I rebuild my faith when I was distraught and apparently all alone. And what if I felt more abandoned by God than I could possibly feel betrayed and hurt by any one person. Sure, friends and even some of my family abandoned me in my time of need or just plain didn't care to know what was going wrong with me, but the slight by them was nothing to the unforgivable thing Jesus did because "Jesus loves the little children" and "Jesus loves me" were so distant from my life. God was a lie and I was sure not going to listen to religious crap anymore, it sure hadn't served me well at all! Misdiagnosed, misunderstood, mistreated, mis-loved, miserable. Are you lost and depressed and dejected over something that has happened or is happening in your life? Are you sure that no one understands you? Have you been taught about Jesus, his Father and His Holy Spirit and you're just sure He is not possibly good because your life seems bad? Are you a parent or other loved one who is distraught with no knowing what to do and you so badly want your loved one to return to a relationship with God? Stop being such between a rock and a hard place, pick up this teenage Christian non-fiction book and get more than just a little misery for your company but maybe even the impetus to move your immovable life forward!