The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person
on Goodreads (5,461)
What’s inside...
Frederick Joseph calls on his own experiences with racism and conversations with influential artists and activists to provide a guide for white people on how to be better allies and friends. He offers insights into systemic racism and how to combat it at an individual level. A hard-hitting resource for action and change. From the perspective of the friend everyone should have, Frederick Joseph offers an essential read for white people who want to be better about race—and people of color who long to see their experiences validated. 'We don’t see color.' 'I didn’t know Black people liked Star Wars!' 'What hood are you from?' For Frederick Joseph, life in a mostly white high school as a smart and increasingly popular transfer student was full of wince-worthy moments that he often simply let go. As he grew older, however, he saw these as missed opportunities not only to stand up for himself, but to spread awareness to the white friends and acquaintances who didn’t see the negative impact they were having and who would change if they knew how. Speaking directly to the reader, The Black Friend calls up race-related anecdotes from the author’s past, weaving in his thoughts on why they were hurtful and how he might handle things differently now. Each chapter includes the voice of at least one artist or activist, including Tarell Alvin McCraney, screenwriter of Moonlight; April Reign, creator of #OscarsSoWhite; Angie Thomas, author of The Hate U Give; and eleven others. Touching on everything from cultural appropriation to power dynamics, 'reverse racism' to white privilege, microaggressions to the tragic results of overt racism, this book serves as conversation starter, tool kit, and invaluable window into the life of a former 'token Black kid' who now presents himself as the friend many of us need. Back matter includes an encyclopedia of racism, providing details on relevant historical events, terminology, and more.
Age
12-17
Length
272 pages
Text complexity
Character compass
Frederick Joseph
Discussion points
What are some ways the author suggests we can support and stand up for our friends of different races or backgrounds?
How does the book make you feel about the importance of listening to and learning from other people's experiences?
Can you think of a time when you noticed someone being treated unfairly? What do you think could have been done differently?
What does being a 'better white person' mean to you after reading this book?
How can we apply what we've learned from this book to our everyday interactions at school or in our community?
Tip: Role play these questions
Before starting the book, set a warm, open tone for the discussion. Let your child know that all questions and feelings are valid.
Encourage your child to share their thoughts and relate personal experiences, but also emphasize the importance of listening.
Discuss the historical and social context of the book as it might help deepen the understanding of the topics covered.
Reinforce the book's messages by relating them to real-world events or news, making the conversation more relevant and impactful.
After finishing the book, continue the discussion by asking your child to think of ways they can be more inclusive and supportive in their own life.
Key lessons
Example Lesson: Understanding Racism and Privilege
Explanation: Through personal anecdotes and interviews, Frederick Joseph educates readers on the various forms of racism and the concept of privilege.
Real-World Application: Children can recognize instances of injustice or inequality in their surroundings and understand the importance of equality for all.
Example Lesson: The Importance of Allyship
Explanation: The book provides strategies and advice on how to be a supportive ally in combating racism.
Real-World Application: Children can learn to support their friends and classmates from different backgrounds, ensuring a supportive and inclusive environment.
Example Lesson: Empathy and Listening
Explanation: Joseph emphasizes the need to listen to the experiences of people of color and to empathize with their struggles.
Real-World Application: Children can practice active listening and empathy in their daily interactions, which can enhance their emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationships.
Example Lesson: Critical Thinking about Media
Explanation: The book encourages readers to think critically about media representations and stereotypes of different races.
Real-World Application: Children can learn to question and analyze the media they consume, fostering a more critical and informed perspective.
Example Lesson: Taking Action
Explanation: Joseph inspires readers to take concrete actions against racism, from educating oneself to participating in community efforts.
Real-World Application: Children can be encouraged to participate in community service and projects that promote diversity and understanding within their community.